Saturday, December 06, 2008

Edna's Expenses Gossip

Been trying to contact Edna Mopbucket all week. Ever since the police arrested Damian Green, she been playing hard to get. I wanted a word after hearing that my expenses when I was an Assembly Member are not going to be published on Monday after all. She gasped when I asked. I knew she had some inside info. So I promised to put a 'good word' about her into the ear of Powys Councillor Bob Mills, who she's taken a shine to. My reward was a bit of tittle-tattle that may or may not be true. Trouble with Edna is that you can never be sure that she's not making it up. Anyway, it seems she'd overheard some meeting discussing when the information about Assembly Member's expenses should be made public.

She said she happened to be passing a Committee Room after normal hours last week, when she heard raised voices. Edna can never resist taking a peep at things. Seems she looked through the keyhole, and who should be in the middle of all this furore but the Chair of something called the Assembly Commission - none other than William Graham AM. It seems that this 'Commission' is responsible for the publication of AM's expenses - including mine. Edna swears she heard one panicky raised voice stuttering "It would be bl**dy bonkers to put this stuff out on Monday. We'll be bl**dy crucified all bl**dy week. Shipton and Roderick will be prowling the corridors of the bl***y Senedd all day Tuesday and Wednesday like undertakers in a flu epidemic. Lets publish the end of next week, after the AMs have gone off on their Xmas hols". Edna reckoned she saw the colour draining from William's cheeks as he muttered something like "Constituency weeks please" - but his buttonhole was suddenly started quivering. Someone else then supposedly chipped in with "We'd never get away with it. They'll crucify us - accusing us of trying to find a way of burying bad news. We'll have to do it this week. Can't we just do it after Wednesday, so that most of us can bu**er off home, before the proverbial hits the fan. The heat should be off by next week"

Edna tells me that she then had to run for it. Its seems William's cheeks turned pure white, and his orchid collapsed. He jumped up from his chair saying that he needed a breath of fresh air to recover. Edna reckoned there was one hell of an atmosphere brewing up - so she scarpered. Can't see what the fuss is about myself. Surely no Assembly Member would ever have spent taxpayer's money on anything they would not be entirely happy for their constituents to know about. Anyway, Edna's promised to ring if she hears any more about when all the details that were to be published on Monday are now going to be published. Luckily she's down the Assembly cleaning next week.

7 comments:

O-Man said...

Errrr, re: “before the proverbial hits the fan"; please substitute: “before the proverbial hits the wind turbine blades".

PS Has Edna got any money down on which AMs she reckons are going to be in the ‘brown stuff’?

The Wilted Rose said...

Be careful, Glyn - you might get Edna arrested for leaking.

Anonymous said...

sounds as if this could be fun

Glyn Davies said...

O-manand wilted rose - I advised Edna to say no more.

anon - Well yes sort of. But it is the public's money, and lets hope everything is completely ok.

Valleys Mam said...

Hi Glyn answered your comment on my blog, but also I have found out that the reason Edwina H is pushing the pesumed consent agenda ,is that the head of the liver or kidney transplant association has her ear. Not sure who he is though

Glyn Davies said...

VM - You probably mean Roy Thomas, Chair of Kidney Foundation Wales. I think he's OK, and if he does have Edwina's ear, I wish he'd persuade her to commit to a renal dialysis unit in Welshpool. At present, Roy's helping me establish a local campaigning team, under the umbrella of KFW.

Anonymous said...

im looking forward to hearing what edna thinks of the lists when they are finally published