I have just received the following greeting from Jim Griffiths of Aberystwyth Town Council.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally concious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter soltice holiday, practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated holiday in recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calender year 2007, but not without due respect for the calenders of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make my country great and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual preferences of their wishes.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warrented to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warrenty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message: however a significant number of electrons were inconvenienced.